Monday, April 5, 2010

LA has a new super hero

What is up my people?!?!?! It’s been a while since any one has posted anything, I guess Greg didn’t have any good stories and neither did I. That’s a lie, I actually have a gem from this past weekend but I CAN NOT post it for a looooong time (you need to be excited about it though, I am telling you that it is MONEY). Buuuuuut then something interesting happened today…..

Some of you may know that Greg and I are doing a thing called, “The Warrior Dash” on the 11th. It is a three mile run featuring twelve obstacles (climbing bales of hay, traversing through water, jumping fire, climbing under barbed wire, ect.) and so I am in training for the competition. After a depressing 4 hours of reflecting on life and looking for a job I decided to take my mind off of things and go for a run.

At the start of my run I intended on going for my usual 3 mile run but then decided to make things a little tougher this time in order to become a true warrior.  My new rule was that every time my song changed or that I got stuck at a street light I would do 15 push ups or sit ups.  This was fun until I hit the last light on my trip home.

I run up to the light like it was every other one but as I began to reach for the crosswalk button I noticed two cars coming very fast to the intersection.  I probably would not have noticed this if both cars had a green light, but this was not the case.  The cars are racing to the light and are perpendicular to each other, one has a red and the other has a green.

To set the scene imagine if you were on a street corner and if you look at the corner diagonal from you one car is coming from the right of it and the other is coming from the left.  Now, just like in a TV show time begins slow down for me and my brain goes right to work:

Car A is traveling at about 50 mph and weighs, I would guess, 3,500 lbs.  Car B is traveling 45 mph and weighs around 3,000 lbs.  At the point of impact, if no brakes are applied, Car B will have the momentum to travel I would say abouttttttt, oh fuck that car is heading right for me!  The two cars collided and now one is out of control coming in my direction. I literally dive out of the way and go directly into a forward roll.  I convert my forward moving momentum into upward so I can stand up while spinning 180 degrees into a karate like stance, ready for the next vehicle to be coming my way.

I look over and spot that the car that almost took me out.  This car was angry my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli.  It was engulfed in smoke, gasoline was going everywhere, and I need to do something like right now. I run over to the vehicle and look in the window. A girl is inside crying and pleading with me to get her out of the car.  The driver side door took about 65% of the blow, and I was not sure if I could get the door open.  I grab onto the handle and try to swing the door open but it won’t budge.  I put one foot on the back door of the car and pull the door with all my might. Success! The door is open.  I grab the young woman and pull her from the mangled heap of metal that was once her car.  I can see she is badly injured and with no ambulances on the way and little time I put her in my arms I run her to the nearest hospital. I run her into the E.R. (still in my arms) and make sure she receives medical attention right away.

Tell me that that is not the most ballah story everrrrr!!!!!!  Alright, it would be if it was true. That is what I would like to call the "Hollywood" version of the story.  Here is what really happened. I stopped on a street corner to do some sit ups. Next thing I know I hear tires screeching, then a collision and then the sounds of a car heading right for me.  I cover my head and roll out of the way (I think that part is still pretty bad ass).  When I look up I see a car about 10 feet away from me. It almost ran me over and I had no idea because my back was to the intersection while doing sit ups (I'm an idiot looking at back on it and how close I actually came to death).  I did run to the car and I did have to rescue that girl from her vehicle just like I described it earlier. The car was leaking gas, smoke was everywhere, she couldn't get out of the car, and I had to use my foot to get the door open.  That part of the story is totally true. She was not badly injured (which is a good thing) but she was crying and I tried my best to console her.  After making sure she was ok and that I did all I could, I ran away like a super hero into the night.  No names, no glory, no thank you needed. Now some of you may ask, "Why?  Why did you not give that girl your name?  Why did you not try to meet up with this girl again?".  All I want to do is make sure that the people of my town are safe.  I help because I can, not because I want things in return.

Seriously this left me a little traumatized. Making eye contact with that girl while tears streamed down her face and hearing her say "Please help! Get me out of here!" is something I didn't enjoy. It was sad. But I suppose that is all part of building a good super hero, right?

You can sleep well tonight, Los Angeles. I am here for you.

Love Always,


Note 1: I know I said my stories will be me making fun of myself, but I couldn't hold back.  I had to share this story, I felt too good afterwards.

Note 2: I would have stuck around for the police if I actually witnessed anything.  Like I said my back was turned during the accident, so all that I really did was rescue the damsel in distress (oh and she was a damsel.)

Note 3:  Nick didn’t read this over for me and Klean Up my writing yet (see what I did there), but I had to get this story out there for all of you like I promised.  So trust me, I know it was rough to read but hopefully it was worth it.

Note 4: Please comment!!!! Even if it's you telling me I suck and that I'm an idiot. I want this blog to be really interactive where we can host debates.  You can say things and I can respond, or I can say something and you can respond. It will be so much more fun I promise you.  Hell even start your own blog and react to our blog, that would be fun too.  Just let's get more reader involvement.


  1. You suck and you're an idiot for not letting me edit this prior to posting.

    Tip #1:
    Punctuation goes outside of the parentheses.

    This is a "ballah" story "brah."

  2. Nicholas is a negative nancy. I'm very impressed with your heroism. I'd be your damsel any day.

  3. I think I like Apple. If you ever need some one to rescue you just hit me up. I got your back. Nick, you are on your own.

  4. That's still a pretty impressive story. Definitely not as epic and impressive as the hollywood version, but still pretty awesome.

    Kudos to you... not many people these days would have made sure to help the girl, and then not expected some sort of reward in return. Glad to see there is still good scattered around this self-serving world :).

  5. Haha the Hollywood version is actually how I remember it happening but I've been told that the other way is really what happened. This was a pretty girl and I would have loved to been able to see her again but it felt kind of inappropriate to ask her out. Instead I just ran away, so I guess I'm not completely innocent.

  6. Dude, you missed a movie quality opportunity there in not asking her out. Imagine every time someone asked how you met you could say, "oh you know, saved her life. no biggie."

    Then again, just running off into the night (I have a feeling it was actually day) sounds pretty hilarious, too.

  7. Hahaha I know man, but I would have had to of been there all night before I could have actually talked to her. And you are totally right, it was at 5:30 so the sun was still out. I meant more as a metaphor than literal. As in I ran away LIKE a super hero would do into the night. I didn't mean to mislead any one.

  8. Awesome story. The Hollywood version was great, but the fact that you saved her and then (literally) RAN AWAY after is amusing in itself.

    So... you do sit-ups at intersections? Is that kind of thing normal in L.A.? And I thought people in Portland were odd ;)